An Essay on the Art of Body Language

It’s not what you say; it’s the way you say is important. Parents have a lot on their mind, and sometimes, it’s tough to slow down and focus on how they’re communicating. The way people use while speaking is as important as the words they choose. If he speaks hurriedly, the listener will most likely come away with an impression that you were preoccupied or in a hurry, regardless of what the person said. Most people are unaware of their body language, but it speaks volumes about what they’re really thinking. Watching your body language as well as that of your child hears you.

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To get an idea about the art of body language we must watch for some things like (1) Body Posture. When you speak, are you slouching or turned away from your child? Do you point a finger or shake a fist? (2) Facial expression. Are your eyebrows furrowed or raised? Are you smiling, squinting, or crying? Is your jaw set? (3) Your voice. Is your tone sarcastic, sneering, or accusatory? Are you whining or shouting? (4) Your words. Do you command instead of communicate, tell instead of suggest? Are your words vague, abrasive, or accusatory? (5) Your mood. Are you tired, preoccupied, frustrated or irritable? Are you focused on the situation at hand? If the person recognizes some of these traits in him, make a concerted effort to change his manner because they only hinder communication.

When your body language echoes the sentiments you’re expressing, you make it easier for your listener to understand. One is often expected to sense another person’s feelings on a subject without verbal communication. A person’s views unfold as he/she sees how others react; much is suggested by indirectness and vague implication. It is impolite to yawn during the conversation. This is offensive to hosts. Sit straight in chairs with your feet on the floor. The bottom of your feet should not be displayed. Cross you legs only at the knees and ankles. Resting your foot on the opposite leg’s knee is considered impolite because the bottom of your foot is considered unclean and offensive. Chewing gum is impolite. Laughter does not always mean amusement. Laughter may be a sign of embarrassment or uncomfortableness depending on the context. It is typical to avoid direct signs of emotion. Behaving in conformity with the crowd is very important. This promotes understanding between people and unity. Proper dress is necessary for different occasions. When visiting someone for dinner, the hierarchy of relations between the people eating determines the order and position of the seating arrangement. This displays your identity and place within the group. Bowing and its various depths and duration depend on the relative status and the relationship of the participants.


Acquiring the art to read body language is a useful communication skill. This art can be divided into two basic groups of body language postures: one is reading about it and the second one is using it or it can be expressed as Open/Closed and Forward/Back notions. Open/Closed is the most obvious. People with arms folded and legs crossed and bodies turned away are signaling that they are rejecting messages. People showing open hands, fully facing you and both feet planted on the ground are accepting them. Forward/Back indicates whether people are actively or passively reacting to communication. When they are learning forward and pointing towards you they are actively accepting or rejecting the message. When they are learning back, looking up at the ceiling, doodling on a pad, cleaning their glasses they are either passively absorbing or ignoring it. The posture groups combine to create four basic modes: responsive, reflective, combative and fugitive. In responsive mode, Open/Forward the person is actively accepting the messages. This is the time to close the sale, ask for agreement, and demand a concession. In reflective mode, Open/Back, people are interested and receptive but are not actively accepting. In fugitive mode, Closed/Back, people are trying to escape physically through the door or mentally into boredom. This is the time to spark interest in any way you can, even irrelevant to the message. Finally, in combative mode, Closed/Back, there is active resistance. This is the time to defuse anger, avoid contradiction and outright argument and to steer them into reflective mode. How these modes are expressed in posture and gestures varies from culture to culture.

All in all acquiring the art of body language is an useful tool in ones hand by which one can improve his personality and get success in whatever field he wants to progress.

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