Attention Girls: This Is How You Can Forget Him Forever!
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You Want to Forget him; Come I have Something to Tell You
“Hey I wanted to tell you that I’ve found the girl of my dreams and we are enjoying unforgettable, happy moments together”, this is what Leila’s boyfriend told her just a few months ago. Leila is my friend and that guy was her boyfriend whom she had met four years ago, they had a well-known relationship in our city. At first the guy was a kind man who looked like the very Romeo who adored his Joliet. He would always open his conversations with “Hey, honey”, and end them with “I love you”. But after three years, his kindness changed, he became meaner and harsher until finally ending the relationship with the phone call from above.
Leila, like many girls who fall in love, had made countless sacrifices for him, including giving up her dream job, anything to please him. She wanted to be a teacher of the French language, and she had the opportunity to be part of the Teachers’ High College, an Algerian institution for people who want to be teachers. But her lover did not like the idea because the college was not in the city he lives in but in another one instead. Surprisingly, Leila agreed, and gave up her dream job to keep him happy and satisfied.
I have been taught that “Manhood” is someone that is real, someone wise, reasonable and logical rather than something selfish, like a boy who cries when he does not get what he wants. But growing up I noticed we have millions of men still living in this “Boyhood” mentality. Here I have to stop to clarify the fact that not all Algerian men are like that, just a few fall into this special category,usually within the younger generations.
I’ve read many books trying to decode these human beings; one in particular ” Act like a lady, think like a man” by Steve Harvey in this book the author wrote in detail about the way men think, and how women should deal with them. This book had a lot of information about men. When I finish reading books like this, I usually compare the theories and information with the boyfriends of my girlfriends.
Can you guess what I discovered? I figured out these men, that fall into that specific category, cannot be considered part of those rules and theories; I assume that they are descended from another planet. Interestingly enough, these men believe and memorize only one equation that says:
1- If a girl agrees on what her Algerian lover wants in other words she says “Yes” to his requests = ( this equals ) she used to do all those things with other men.
2- If she says “No” to her lover’s requests = (this means) she doesn’t have confidence in him; therefore, he will search for another girl and leave her all alone. No matter how many months or years they spent together.
Selma is a twenty-five-year-old Algerian beautiful girl who has been asked for her hand by many educated guys of high status, but she keeps on refusing the idea of being with another man. “I do hate all men, Kenza”, Selma told me this without looking sad. Five years ago, Selma fell in love with her neighbor who, supposedly, was in love with her. Three years later, her mother, who had no idea about her daughter’s relationship, told her their neighbor was getting married and they received the invitation. The thing that drove Selma crazy is that while he was preparing for his wedding with another girl, they were hanging out together, talking over the phone as if he had no-idea about what was going on; his wedding. “It was a shock that broke every single bone in my body and that convinced me that all men are the same, they are all cheaters”, Selma said with a cold smile.
I would like to mention the cases when an Algerian girl is considered “Unfit for marriage” by these men. But before I do, I have to state a fact about all women, no matter how strong they may seem; as a matter of fact,they regularly let their hearts or their feelings rule them instead of their heads. Most importantly, if one of those guys asks his girlfriend to send him photos of herself, for example. When she blindly accepts and sends them to him, she will face two unhappy results. Firstly, she is undoubtedly considered “Unfit for marriage” since he would think she used to send her pictures to other men.
Here I have to mention that we frequently call people who think this way “Mewesawsin” which means that they are over-meticulous. And the second catastrophe she faces is when she decides to end the relationship, she won’t be able to because he will threaten to publish her photos on Facebook or show them to her next lover or fiancée. Particularly, millions of these men do publish their girlfriends’ pictures on facebook or showed them to their fiancées since they chose a real man instead of them. At first they seem like a little innocent sheep, as I always say, but later on they will turn into dangerous foxes.
The next genre of women that are “Unfit for marriage” are the ones who hurry in saying “I love you” before the men do. Hence, these men think their easy to get or that these women want nothing in the world, but to be with them, so they run away leaving them alone. It seems that they are meticulous again, right?
Additionally, if a girl accepts her boyfriend’s offer concerning to hang out and spend some times together. This will be the start of an interesting game because he would consider his girlfriend to be a beautiful doll who is unfit for marriage since her acceptance for his offer means that she used to do the same things with other men. I told you before that they are” Mewesawsin”, didn’t I?
I am always wondering if it’s important to have a relationship with a man. I am pretty sure that it’s not. Girls like having relationships for various reasons. Starting with the fact that they have a weak relationship with God; they don’t have a strong belief in Allah. Moreover, the problem with “Spinsterhood” is that it makes them think, the only way they can get rid of the inevitable title “Spinster” is to chase a man.
Furthermore,others think they have to be like their friends who have boyfriends and they get pressure into being in a relationship. Shockingly, millions of girls hate being alone and start believing that only a man can fill this gap of weakness they are suffering from. On the other side, there are many girls who fall in love for no reason at all, even when they need nothing, they feel that there is something inside pushing them to think of a certain person. The reasons may vary, but the result is one; broken hearts, tears, suffering and sadness.
I can never ignore the fact there are some girls who betray their boyfriends and go through some unacceptable experiences. In particular, I was told about a young girl who had a relationship with this man, but when she discovered he had a brother in a high position, a car and his own house; she decided to have a relationship with him. Eventually, she successfully seduced him. Interestingly, several girls nowadays are running towards rich man as they believe money can buy them happiness. On the other hand, we still have thousands of Algerian girls who are respectful and prude. Those women are only looking for real men who are afraid of god and know their value.
I can assure you that we have millions of MEN, true MEN. In fact; they are the ancestors of “Youcef Ben Boulaid” and “El-Arbi Ben Mehidi”, who are Algerian Mujahedeen, real MEN. They represent and define the real meaning of “Manhood”. Accordingly, when they make a promise, they keep it. In addition to that, they never cheat on a girl, nor betray her. Do you know what they usually do?
They tell their families about their girlfriends that are considered, for them, future wives. Yes, they put a plan on which they note down their future plans including the home they are dreaming to construct with their queen, the girl they are in a relationship with. Notably, they are scared of Allah, and know very well “they reap, what they sow”.
So many girls suffer because of betrayal, neglecting or one-sided love.
Simply, because they have convinced themselves that they can never forget them or love one more; while, the men can and are enjoying their lives with their new girlfriends like Leila’s boyfriend or have gotten married like Selma’s previous boyfriend. It goes without saying that God has gifted each one of us, beings, with the trait of “Forgetting” because when you notice those who lose their parents, are likely to forget them after few months or years and can begin a new chapter of their lives without them. So how come a girl can’t forget about a man that she truly loves while he can. On the positive side, there are many things a girl can do instead of crying, because a man left her for another girl. I am going to give some techniques and tips that a girl can do, that might help her forget the man she once loved.
1. The first thing the girl has to know is “Love can’t be forced”. Thus, if he really loves you, he will never make you cry. Instead, he will knock down your family’s home door accompanied with his own family to ask for your hand. And if he does not do that, then don’t bother yourself to think of him, you need to let him go!
2. If you have done your best to make him happy, but he doesn’t appreciate nor does he do the same. It’s high time to convince yourself that “YOU deserve RESPECT and LOVE;YOU ought to love the one who truthfully loves YOU and forget the one who doesn’t”. Hence, delete his phone number and deactivate your Facebook account, as well as any other social media site,if he is one of those persons on your friends’ list, make sure that you are forgetting him.
3. You must NOT give yourself a chance to think of him. Therefore, whenever he comes into your mind go pray and read some verses of the Quran, you will feel far much better doing so- believe me!
4. You have to know that God forbids love relationships, so be faithful and believe he will send you the right man at the right time. And try to think of the fact that he says to work hard to get anything you want except to get a man; can you think of some reasons why God says this?
5. Put this idea in your mind; even if it’s hurtful, he doesn’t want you, he prefers to be with another girl. But be sure not to think you are not beautiful,it just means he’s not lucky to be with a special girl like you. Thus, make a last decision and say out loud; “I will forget you, man!”
6. Remember that your PRIDE and DIGNITY must be put before your LOVE to him.
7. Put a clear goal in your life and work hard on achieving the things you dream of. Persist on the idea that YOU will make him regret the actions he has done against you; like leaving you for another girl. “Be what you want to be!”
8. I have no-doubt concerning the fact you have talents and potential to do something special in life. I am pretty sure you have a hobby like reading books, drawing or writing. So devote more time to read, write or paint whatever you want instead of thinking of him every single second of the day.
The coming techniques, leisure activities, may seem trivial, but believe me, they are quite helpful:
1. Whenever you begin thinking of him; run into your room and start putting on makeup; it is an entertaining hobby to enjoy your time with and you will begin to forget him
2. Dance! Turn on the radio, the television, your phone, or personal computer and play your favorite songs; dance, laugh and forget him, girl! Don’t forget to delete all emotional songs that remind you of him.
3. I know sometimes our hearts start beating in a strange way as if they want to force us to think of a dear person, so when you feel that go to the kitchen in order to prepare your favorite dishes or to eat whatever you find in the refrigerator; eat and
forget him with every single thing you chew. But remember that eating to overcome problems could be unhealthy as it can lead to heart disease or diabetes; therefore, make sure not to eat so much.
To sum up, bear in mind that god has made YOU worthy and honorable, and no-one, no matter who he is or what YOU feel towards him, has the right to dishonor and insult YOU, nor treat YOU with contempt and disrespect. You must NOT cry out in pain because of him, forget him because he doesn’t deserve YOU. The one who loves YOU, will be YOURS one day, so believe that God will choose him, and he will never make YOUR tears slip from YOUR eyes. Just wait, GIRL!
From: Kenza Salmi
Email: salmikenza7 @ gmail.com
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